The level of misogyny exhibited by women during this whole trial was disappointing and honestly terrifying. Even as you said by prominent feminsists, who seemed to want to paint themselves as “good” feminists who aren’t “irrational man haters” and who stand by the fact that feminism is about equality and that we should support male victims. This is of course as the majority of Depp supporters ignore male victims that have been a part of Me too largely because those men’s abusers had been other men. And that’s the truth, as much as these “good” feminists don’t want to admit it, it isn’t about male victims at all (evidenced by how I’ve already seen multiple comments accusing the crew member suing Depp for physical assault as being paid by Heard) , its about somehow making yourself more palatable to the masses by proving that you’re one of those nice feminists who doesn’t just support any women uncritically. The co-option of progressive language to justify reactionary positions is one of the most vile things I’ve seen in the past few years
Yes! Thank you. I’ve been thinking this for a while. I’d like to add that liberal feminists, in particular, like to pride themselves on being proponents of equality between men and women, especially under the law. That’s all fine and dandy until they start to loose sight of how power imbalances in male-female relationships are more often than not—and especially in Heard’s case—tipped in favor of men. We were told that women can be anything they want to be. That they can do anything men can do, and now that includes being equally as “bad” and as violent toward men as they are capable of being toward us. That isn’t to say that woman can never be abusive, but if being AN abuser requires one to have the upper hand in a relationship—whether physically or financially—then Heard’s case doesn’t fit the bill imo.
Thank you so much for posting this and making it public, I know how hard that decision was. This is an incredible article and I've shared it with everyone I know. Thank you for everything you do
Really important piece that you’ve written so well. Also have been to thinking about the incident with Megan thee Stallion that had been unfolding as this was happening. Megan being forced to provide evidence upon evidence of her being shot (!!!) by Tory lanez and still not being believed. It was so disgusting to see. Its horrifying the intense levels of misogyny being so proudly displayed in the general public right now.
the most shocking part to me was when the camera panned to amber leaving the vicinity, and as she’s driving off, johnny's supporters boo her. and, get this - one even screams out, “witch!” among other disgusting things like, “burn the witch!”
truthfully, when I heard that I actually paused the live. and that’s when I realized… this is live. this is happening in real-time. a crowd of people, men, and women yelling “witch!” and repeating the same line that their celebrity-god Johnny Depp used in reference to r*ping her lifeless body. It just baffled me so much. I couldn't stomach watching anymore.
it really is insane. i’ve said this probably to my friends before (and verbatim, since i don’t know how else to phrase it), but Depp supporters aren’t willing to admit they enjoy being the mob at a witch trial.
I feel like this is what happens when you cater your feminism to men. Women desperate to prove they’re reasonable and not like the crazy feminazis, and men desperate to corroborate this for their mens rights agenda that they only speak about when there is a woman to put down.
I haven’t been following the case. I have actively avoided following this case. And yet whenever I opened YouTube, there’d be at least 3 recommended videos about Depp “owning” Heard, or fan reaction to the newest testimony, or yet another option to livestream it. Again - I actively avoided keeping up with the case, I never searched for it, I didn’t even keep up with the allegations or original lawsuit when they first came out.
And still, the algorithm tried to shove this case down my throat. And most of the thumbnails showed Depp laughing; most of the video titles applauded him for giggling, for snapping, for essentially being completely fucking unprofessional on the witness stand. I’m supposed to applaud a white man for not taking justice seriously but demonize a white woman for being emotional?
I kept thinking - regardless of what the truth is, who wins? How can we look at this and say any part of this was respectable and didn’t reveal the worst aspects of society? And that’s not me both sides-ing the issue. I genuinely want to know.
If Amber was the victim, she just got a more thorough spectacle of humiliation than actual convicted abusers or even serial killers. For fuck’s sake, people have been more forgiving of Jeffrey Dahmer.
If Depp was correct - that he was a male victim of abuse, that Amber had been lying the whole time - again, people have been using his domestic violence case as comedic fodder. They’d still be laughing along through one of the most humiliating spectacles of his life.
If both sides were equally abusive then…again! It would still be everyday people laughing at and making a spectacle of the most humiliating trial of their lives. Treating their testimonies as if they were just funny little Nintendo glitches, or something. Treating this trial as if memes were more important than any measure of truth or justice or God forbid reconciliation.
Everything surrounding this trial and its non-sequestered jury has just been disgustingly cruel. Mass shooters aren’t this dehumanized. Serial killers aren’t this dehumanized. People were angry and they latched onto the first outlet they saw and it’s, quite frankly, really damn frightening.
That last part! I did not see this much outright hate and vitriol for the Parkland shooter—who’s still alive today, btw! It seems like nothing could be worse than a woman who—gasp!—lies! 🙄
White men will lie to justify entire WARS and no one ever thinks “gee, maybe he should be shunned and humiliated, and every white man after him will be held to a near-impossible standard if they want power”.
rayne i will personally be your bodyguard and defend you if anyone tries to come at you... this essay was brilliant and you hit every single point. thank you for this <3
i am so relieved to have seen pushback in spaces im in against the pro-depp narrative, its been so disheartening to see friends and friends of friends seem to become different people with different values all because the pirate they had a crush on as a kid is a violent abuser instead of the fictional character and they can't cope. especially in a world where they claim to believe my teenage relationship when i have less proof and the perpetrator is a good person whos rehabilitated (genuinely, we're on good terms now, shoutout their therapist) and i'm still a reactive mess. if things were less positive with them would friends be that quick to think im a violent bitch who deserves death and forced sex work?
rhetorical question to prove a point, not putting all that on you for real
as much as this was a depressing read, it was also an extremely important one. i was really invested in the harvey weinstein case and ronan farrow's inquiry, and, naively, believed that we might actually be entering an era where it's possible to bring down powerful rapists and abusers. the public response to this whole fucking trial has made me so depressed and the works of people like you and michael are honestly a glimpse of hope in all of this
You changed my mind about the Depp-Heard case, you made me think about the situation and the lives of women in similar positions differently. Much love to you, thank you :)
this is really commendable work, im proud that you said all you did. there’s a lot to tackle and unpack, and you did an excellent job of marie kondo-ing this case for everyone, really making people think and re-evaluate their opinions/thought processes. love you, treat yourself kindly!
thank you so much for posting this; i know the backlash is terrifying. reading this honestly made me cry it just feels so hopeless. seeing the violently misogynistic tiktoks and things people have posted, especially the ones made by women who are saying that amber heard is giving abuse victims a bad name. it's horrifying to me that people can see those things and think that yes, amber is the only woman who has ever been or ever will be treated like this, and she deserves it. your point about women aligning themselves with men's viewpoints in the hope that they'll be trusted more is so tragic.
The level of misogyny exhibited by women during this whole trial was disappointing and honestly terrifying. Even as you said by prominent feminsists, who seemed to want to paint themselves as “good” feminists who aren’t “irrational man haters” and who stand by the fact that feminism is about equality and that we should support male victims. This is of course as the majority of Depp supporters ignore male victims that have been a part of Me too largely because those men’s abusers had been other men. And that’s the truth, as much as these “good” feminists don’t want to admit it, it isn’t about male victims at all (evidenced by how I’ve already seen multiple comments accusing the crew member suing Depp for physical assault as being paid by Heard) , its about somehow making yourself more palatable to the masses by proving that you’re one of those nice feminists who doesn’t just support any women uncritically. The co-option of progressive language to justify reactionary positions is one of the most vile things I’ve seen in the past few years
Yes! Thank you. I’ve been thinking this for a while. I’d like to add that liberal feminists, in particular, like to pride themselves on being proponents of equality between men and women, especially under the law. That’s all fine and dandy until they start to loose sight of how power imbalances in male-female relationships are more often than not—and especially in Heard’s case—tipped in favor of men. We were told that women can be anything they want to be. That they can do anything men can do, and now that includes being equally as “bad” and as violent toward men as they are capable of being toward us. That isn’t to say that woman can never be abusive, but if being AN abuser requires one to have the upper hand in a relationship—whether physically or financially—then Heard’s case doesn’t fit the bill imo.
Thank you so much for posting this and making it public, I know how hard that decision was. This is an incredible article and I've shared it with everyone I know. Thank you for everything you do
Really important piece that you’ve written so well. Also have been to thinking about the incident with Megan thee Stallion that had been unfolding as this was happening. Megan being forced to provide evidence upon evidence of her being shot (!!!) by Tory lanez and still not being believed. It was so disgusting to see. Its horrifying the intense levels of misogyny being so proudly displayed in the general public right now.
the most shocking part to me was when the camera panned to amber leaving the vicinity, and as she’s driving off, johnny's supporters boo her. and, get this - one even screams out, “witch!” among other disgusting things like, “burn the witch!”
truthfully, when I heard that I actually paused the live. and that’s when I realized… this is live. this is happening in real-time. a crowd of people, men, and women yelling “witch!” and repeating the same line that their celebrity-god Johnny Depp used in reference to r*ping her lifeless body. It just baffled me so much. I couldn't stomach watching anymore.
it really is insane. i’ve said this probably to my friends before (and verbatim, since i don’t know how else to phrase it), but Depp supporters aren’t willing to admit they enjoy being the mob at a witch trial.
I feel like this is what happens when you cater your feminism to men. Women desperate to prove they’re reasonable and not like the crazy feminazis, and men desperate to corroborate this for their mens rights agenda that they only speak about when there is a woman to put down.
I haven’t been following the case. I have actively avoided following this case. And yet whenever I opened YouTube, there’d be at least 3 recommended videos about Depp “owning” Heard, or fan reaction to the newest testimony, or yet another option to livestream it. Again - I actively avoided keeping up with the case, I never searched for it, I didn’t even keep up with the allegations or original lawsuit when they first came out.
And still, the algorithm tried to shove this case down my throat. And most of the thumbnails showed Depp laughing; most of the video titles applauded him for giggling, for snapping, for essentially being completely fucking unprofessional on the witness stand. I’m supposed to applaud a white man for not taking justice seriously but demonize a white woman for being emotional?
I kept thinking - regardless of what the truth is, who wins? How can we look at this and say any part of this was respectable and didn’t reveal the worst aspects of society? And that’s not me both sides-ing the issue. I genuinely want to know.
If Amber was the victim, she just got a more thorough spectacle of humiliation than actual convicted abusers or even serial killers. For fuck’s sake, people have been more forgiving of Jeffrey Dahmer.
If Depp was correct - that he was a male victim of abuse, that Amber had been lying the whole time - again, people have been using his domestic violence case as comedic fodder. They’d still be laughing along through one of the most humiliating spectacles of his life.
If both sides were equally abusive then…again! It would still be everyday people laughing at and making a spectacle of the most humiliating trial of their lives. Treating their testimonies as if they were just funny little Nintendo glitches, or something. Treating this trial as if memes were more important than any measure of truth or justice or God forbid reconciliation.
Everything surrounding this trial and its non-sequestered jury has just been disgustingly cruel. Mass shooters aren’t this dehumanized. Serial killers aren’t this dehumanized. People were angry and they latched onto the first outlet they saw and it’s, quite frankly, really damn frightening.
That last part! I did not see this much outright hate and vitriol for the Parkland shooter—who’s still alive today, btw! It seems like nothing could be worse than a woman who—gasp!—lies! 🙄
White men will lie to justify entire WARS and no one ever thinks “gee, maybe he should be shunned and humiliated, and every white man after him will be held to a near-impossible standard if they want power”.
rayne i will personally be your bodyguard and defend you if anyone tries to come at you... this essay was brilliant and you hit every single point. thank you for this <3
i personally will be a backup bodyguard !!!
metoo really was just cutting off the nose to save the face of hollywood
meetoo was just popping some zits. Nothing was cut off.
very true tbf
i love you please write a book
i am so relieved to have seen pushback in spaces im in against the pro-depp narrative, its been so disheartening to see friends and friends of friends seem to become different people with different values all because the pirate they had a crush on as a kid is a violent abuser instead of the fictional character and they can't cope. especially in a world where they claim to believe my teenage relationship when i have less proof and the perpetrator is a good person whos rehabilitated (genuinely, we're on good terms now, shoutout their therapist) and i'm still a reactive mess. if things were less positive with them would friends be that quick to think im a violent bitch who deserves death and forced sex work?
rhetorical question to prove a point, not putting all that on you for real
as much as this was a depressing read, it was also an extremely important one. i was really invested in the harvey weinstein case and ronan farrow's inquiry, and, naively, believed that we might actually be entering an era where it's possible to bring down powerful rapists and abusers. the public response to this whole fucking trial has made me so depressed and the works of people like you and michael are honestly a glimpse of hope in all of this
You changed my mind about the Depp-Heard case, you made me think about the situation and the lives of women in similar positions differently. Much love to you, thank you :)
I feel way less insane after reading this!
amazing. genuinely brilliant. will be sharing this with every single person in my life that has breathed near this case over the last couple weeks
this is really commendable work, im proud that you said all you did. there’s a lot to tackle and unpack, and you did an excellent job of marie kondo-ing this case for everyone, really making people think and re-evaluate their opinions/thought processes. love you, treat yourself kindly!
thank you so much for posting this; i know the backlash is terrifying. reading this honestly made me cry it just feels so hopeless. seeing the violently misogynistic tiktoks and things people have posted, especially the ones made by women who are saying that amber heard is giving abuse victims a bad name. it's horrifying to me that people can see those things and think that yes, amber is the only woman who has ever been or ever will be treated like this, and she deserves it. your point about women aligning themselves with men's viewpoints in the hope that they'll be trusted more is so tragic.