this post has been heavily requested, but i was resistant at first — i have unfortunately just never been able to commit to the new year’s zeitgeist. the idea of building and branding a New Me that eats more vegetables and goes to the gym has always been pretty at odds with every value i hold dear, and i sort of subscribe to the belief that if i actually wanted to get better at anything i wouldn’t have waited until january, anyway. “i am not a new iphone! i don’t need a yearly rebrand!” i say to myself, self-righteously, as i avoid self-improvement of any kind like the plague and wallow in my own discontent and physical decay. if being an anticapitalist were easy, everyone would do it…
just kidding (i am beautiful and “in my prime”!). i ended up writing this post after all because, despite myself, i think i’m excited for 2022 and everything it may contain, and also i love being right about things.
new year’s is a difficult time for all ex-ambitious women, but for the record, my life became much more enjoyable once i forwent traditional goal-setting and instead opted to base my self-improvement metrics around things like wearing sillier outfits and being more in love. the past year has been difficult, for me and for everybody, but apathetic nihilism is out — this year, we’re wearing jewel tones and persevering!
2022 PREDICTIONS
tiktok dies, à la instagram
substacks & blogs will become the new cool-girl content creation medium du jour as a new wave of consumers begin to push back against micro-content
heterosexual monogamy becomes an attempted counterculture — i.e. some select contrarians start embracing it in an attempt to subvert (what they perceive to be) the countercultural mainstream. i predict this will be super annoying
the internet tires of high-effort, curated nonchalance (“photodumps”) and reverts back to obvious inauthenticity (“ringlight selfies”)
conceptual outfits are in. our clothing will focus less on aesthetic cohesion or physical optimization and instead attempt to evoke an object, idea, animal, concept, etc …
stan culture is put under intense criticism when a stan account livetweets their attempt to assassinate a celebrity
side parts, infinity scarves, and ukuleles come back into fashion
soothers/pacifiers become a popular accessory; this triggers a new wave of age gap discourse
greta. thunberg. met. gala.
BLUE will be the new SAGE GREEN
PCP will be the new KETAMINE
EARNEST ACCEPTANCE will be the new IRONIC DETACHMENT
HEDONISTIC AESTHETIC WHIMSY will be the new CLASSINESS
HAVING SEX will be the new BEING INTO NFTS
IN
CDs
reclusiveness
hildegard von bingen
the written word
art deco jewelry
anti-facial recognition makeup
long, colourful knit scarves
grubbiness
shoulder-length gloves
herbal cigarettes
looking like shit
multiple aliases
dorothy parker
hysteria
jewel tones
ideological consistency
obvious bids for attention
shirts with breast-holes cut out
OUT
out lists. negativity is tacky and overdone!
(i wanted to do an out list but then got anxious about contributing to the trend cycle or making people feel bad or something. i’m an empath at heart…)
thank you for reading as always, lots of love, eat decadently, see you in the new year <3
— rayne
out of all the predicted trends of the new year “anti-facial recognition makeup” sounds the most enticing
2022 is the perfect time for myspace to make a full comeback. posting an instagram story of my face with a 15 second song snippet playing is not enough… i need my friends to stare at my selfie for 3 minutes while my song of the day plays !