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Better Days Are A Toenail Away's avatar

"urgent tense" should win this month's *APT COINAGE AWARD.* srsly, i could not put my finger on why so much culture writing gives me low-level anxiety. it's a helpful phrase/frame.

great work 👍👏

Ramya Yandava's avatar

This makes me so glad that I chose to major in classics back when I was an undergrad—what stuck with me from parsing through all those Greek and Latin texts was that people have been the same basically for literally thousands of years! The urgent tense (great coinage) is such an easy way to grab attention online, but the fundamental truth is that human nature has remained largely unchanged over the course of our history. I, for one, would be very bored were the battle of the sexes to cease for good.

Honu's avatar
1dEdited

It reminded of this quote from 'Sea of Tranquility': "I think, as a species, we have a desire to believe that we're living at the climax of the story. It's a kind of narcissism. We want to believe that we're uniquely important, that we're living at the end of history."

Terra Pilch-Bisson's avatar

Also urgent-tense language is very present in center-left critiques of neoliberalism that depart from Marxist historicism and imply that late capitalism has evolved into something entirely else and worse than ever before. Just frustrating bc an attempt at a leftist critique lands the solution back in some mid-20th century postwar golden days instead of a future

Emma Stephenson's avatar

dropping this mid-Love Island season 8 is so good

rayne fisher-quann's avatar

trust me I'm watching religiously

Tyler's avatar

Things ARE measurably worse right now in many ways, but that's another way of saying that they're further along on the arc that they were on anyway. The total lack of historical consciousness is one of my greatest aggravations in cultural/political writing, so thank you for this

Tyler's avatar

As to the other thing: I grew up in the working class South with a butch lesbian for an aunt, and her social circle was a frequent prescence in my childhood. One thing it taught me is that, while patriarchy obviously tilts the balance of power quite a ways towards one direction (as demonstrated by the other relationships I grew up around, including my parents) there really is no limit to how people in general can hurt each other regardless of shared gender/orientation/interests.

I hope your friend is doing as well as she could be. I felt my own weathered heart break a little reading about her worrying about hers scarring over

Tyler's avatar

Last note - I'm sure the essay in your book will be miles more considered, but this is the most successful I've been at articulating my thoughts on the subject https://bsky.app/profile/electriceden92.bsky.social/post/3m5ht5246rs26

Philip Walford's avatar

The urgent tense is also everyone's go-to in discussing birth rate decline. Last week the villain was iphones, next week it'll probably be autoplay on Spotify (along with the usual howling suspects of women learning to read and holding down jobs). But per Berardi/Fisher, the perpetual present goes both ways, also dissolving the future as a bounded destination. When the present is endless, I suspect kids just feel endlessly deferrable (I wrote about this recently, but don't want to hijack).

Sanjana's avatar
1dEdited

i consider myself to be a fairly intellectual person. and yet, somewhere along the line in my hurry to consume the most zeitgeist-y publications, I subscribed to Freya’s newsletter. I can’t remember the last time I read her newsletter, and yet, I am shocked that I subscribed in the first place. Looking through my mutuals, I find that many of my feminist friends are subscribed to her too. I am not above being propagandized, and because I read “intellectual” things and organize in my community, I think that I am. (There’s something to be said for the ways in which the left is always trying to act above the masses as if we are also not the masses, but that’s a different story).

I have found that the right-wing pipeline is increasingly hard to identify. I want to give myself grace, here, but mentally, I am also annoyed at myself for falling for her grift. I got off TikTok for this very same reason—I found that right-wing content would be couched in terms of empowerment or individualism that could read as feminist, and I found myself falling down pipelines of diets and looksmaxxing and feminine energy from girls who had the cultural markers of being feminists or left-wing, but were anything but. (See the American Diner Gothic article). Thank you for writing this, and reminding me how important it is to be critical before I hit that like or subscribe button, and that I am not above falling for grifts.

Gawain Kripke's avatar

same. this essay was really helpful to me locating freya india as part of the right-wing pipeline. to a casual observer she presents as something different.

madeline's avatar

love love love the willis quote and if anyone is in new york you should come to free summer of ludd events happening all this week in tompkins park in manhattan !! we are investigating a lot of these questions, oftentimes in connection with literature and history ⭐️

karuna's avatar

omg agree with all of this so wholeheartedly, thank you for putting words to it so precisely. I have been attempting in my own personal essay writing to form that realistic optimism lens since I’m very very very tired of being stuck entirely in the despair of the world despite all the awareness of its weight

Ken's avatar

Internet Princess Strikes Again

She never misses

Even not writing about heteropessimism you've done a fine job writing about heteropessimism!

There is a lure to some old notion of romance, a mirage, like most things nostalgic. So much harder to advertise the shining future, should we make it there.

Anyway, I didn't know I was doing it, increasingly emphasizing the present, noted. Thank you!

khalid's avatar

this is why i subscribe

katherine's avatar

the end of this made me cry a little. i've had an astronomically bad year in the world of Dating Men and i've certainly been bombarded with a lot of the "things are now worse than EVER because of IPHONES" discourse. it's so comforting to believe that my problems are immediate and so must be the solution. but i'd rather claw and kick my way into a better world than sit back and hope one is around the corner. gorgeous essay, i want to read this aloud to someone

rayne fisher-quann's avatar

sending love <333 I understand

Terra Pilch-Bisson's avatar

Who said girls with brown hair can’t wear jeans

Santiago's avatar

Banger closing line. Fair play.

Mattie's avatar
1dEdited

As an older woman I can honestly say it’s different now. I’ve never seen such open hostility towards women. I’ve experienced plenty of sexual harassment both on the street and on the job. Sexism was from the point of men not feeling threatened about their dominance in society and now there’s a lot of men who’ve been made to feel it’s being seriously threatened. And now their knives are out. Dating online seems pretty risky rn and I see no notable improvement in men taking on domestic stuff. Still plenty of domestic violence though.