the raynecorp gift guide

fighting the feminine urge to gatekeep

listen — there is nothing more glamorous than giving a good gift. one of the primary factors uniting all the most magnetic and fascinating people i know is that every one of them knows how to give a fucking gift: when friends have given me bundles of desert herbs or folders stuffed with the lyrics to my favourite songs or childhood teddy bears, i’ve always felt like i could see the kindness and divinity radiating off of them like sweat. giving a good gift is a side effect of listening, which is the most intimate thing ever; it’s really two gifts, because any good gift comes with the secret, implicit gift of being understood. this is the milk of human kindness, this is the good stuff, etcetera etcetera.

so i'm fighting my urge to gatekeep and have decided to spill all my secrets. about half of these gifts don’t cost anything or cost very little, because i assume most of you are broke. plus, here is the bonus gift i’m giving to you: if you have someone in your life who you’d like to give you a thoughtful gift but you don’t want to directly ask for it, you can send them my substack and say "she is so smart! she is such a great writer!" as a ruse. then, they'll see this post and get the message. this is an example of a symbiotic relationship because you will also be giving ME the gift of Notoriety — every girl's dream! 

here you go:

write about them as if they were a fictional character that the audience is supposed to be in love with

literally all a girl wants is to be described. my favourite part about loving someone is noticing all of their subtle little idiosyncrasies, and i live in quiet longing that someone would tell me mine, because what is more intimate than being noticed? often, both as a writing exercise and as a loving exercise, i will try to write a little introduction to the people i love in my head as if i was reading about them in a book. my best friend is very good at imitating the way that little kids talk and move their bodies. my boyfriend does a silly little curtsy by accident every time he laughs and smiles in his sleep and gets embarrassed more violently than anyone i’ve ever met.

i think writing a couple paragraphs like this about someone in a nice pen on nice paper would be the loveliest gift they’ve ever received. PLEASE NOTE: make sure you know this person well and aren’t being literally insane. don’t do this unless they really deserve it, also. don’t waste my best and most original gift idea ever on a guy in a lo-fi indie band.

gift them a subscription to a writer (or creator) they might like

a good gift is also a compliment. to gift someone a subscription to a writer’s substack is to say “you are a modern yet timeless twenty-first-century woman! you have subversive tastes yet timeless sensibilities!” this gift also comes with a free bonus gift that keeps on giving, because a substack subscription is temporary but the social capital of visibly enjoying contemporary women’s non-fiction is forever.

are you gifting to a twitter cool-girl with a pop-culture addiction? hunter harris' hung up. beautiful mess slash dimes square devotee? annie hamilton's words. post-post-ironic girl genius? binchtopia pod. awards for good boys’ substack is another good choice.

male art socks ($15)

so true!

semi-ironic nameplate necklace ($25-40ish)

one of my most fervent desires this year is a classic gold nameplate necklace that says “lobotomy”. don’t steal that.

for a quirkier and more expensive option, susan alexandra makes a very cute customizable letter necklace. if it were me (and if i hadn’t already claimed “lobotomy”), i would get a feminine little sex-and-the-city-style nameplate that said “subversive” or “sticky”.

tea gems (starting at $7)

these are gorgeous and luxurious and ethically made. such a good mom gift.

hand-annotated book

one of the most sensual gifts you can give someone is a special, mutually important book that you’ve elevated through annotation. get a pen that makes you feel academic and fill the margins with thoughts, inside jokes, trauma dumping, love notes, theories, etc. this is an important gift that should be saved for special occasions.

for an easier option, pick a book you think they’ll love and write a letter to them in the inside cover. tape a dried flower in there or something. they’ll love it.

driable flowers (flexible!)

buying flowers for your friends is a practice that everyone should try to get into because it is fulfilling and always feels special. for a friend, a fresh bouquet is a perfectly unorthodox holiday gift — and if you choose flowers that dry well and have a friend who’s kind of on the ball with that stuff, it can last forever.

peridot ring ($85)

receiving nice jewelry that i’ll keep for a long time makes me feel sooo twenty-seven. i love this peridot ring in particular, but this designer makes stunning, one-of-a-kind pieces in a bunch of different semi-precious stones.

twee cookware ($15-$40)

if you’re gifting to someone you don’t know thaaat well, a really great gift is a sort-of-ridiculous piece of cookware they’d never buy themselves but will probably use. the perfect piece in my opinion is a ceramic brie baking dish — you can get very beautiful ones on Etsy starting at around $20. other ideas are flaky salt dishes, vintage egg separators, butter bells, and ceramic garlic holders.

ogbff baby tee ($45)

nothing says “i’m very hot but haven’t had sex in eight months” like a post-ironic baby tee. this isn’t an insult — many of my closest friends are very hot but haven’t had sex in eight months! ogbff is obviously the vanguard of the 2022 tumblr sleaze resurgence, so if you were also too poor to afford a tongue-in-cheek age-inappropriate tank top when you were fifteen, this is your chance to relive the glory days.

aritzia cozy fleece set (expensive)

I’M SORRY. i know this isn’t very esoteric of me, but i have been sooo depressed this year and getting this set in an aesthetic-friendly colour weirdly made a world of difference — you can wear it to sleep but also out to coffee or brunch, and it makes you look deceitfully put together even when you’ve been wearing it for five days straight. i recommend pairing the oversized boyfriend crew with the 2-inch shorts. just trust me. ask your parents for it or something.

voice-annotated record

a couple years ago, during what would later be diagnosed as a “1920s-style fit of hysteria”, i stayed up all night recording deeply personal commentary to each song in the mountain goats’ tallahassee on my phone’s voice memos. it was meant to be listened to alongside the record, with the expectation that the listener would pause the playback between each song to hear my associated thoughts, recommendations, and emotions. i sent those recordings, along with my physical copy of the vinyl, to a boy who was super mean and openly thought i was stupid, and who i honestly didn’t even really like. it is one of the greatest regrets of my life that i wasted such a potentially sick gift on him, but on the bright side, he had so little respect for me that i don’t think he ever listened to it. in the industry, we call this a “silver lining”.

anyway, i think that if you do this for someone you truly care for, it has the potential to be a beautiful gift. if you’re smarter than me and know how to operate a cassette tape thing that would probably be pretty cute. it works if it’s an album that’s important to both of you, or if it’s an album they haven’t listened to yet but you know they’ll love.

hope this helps xx

thanks for reading!! if you enjoyed this newsletter, as always, feel free to toss me a few scraps at https://ko-fi.com/raynecorp